Along with the weekend comes my husband asking me “What are we doing this weekend?” He doesn’t mean the mundane stuff like “Doing laundry,” or “Cleaning house.” He means FUN. What fun are we going to engage in this weekend? I usually moan, “I don’t know.” I’m tired of the question. Weekends wear me out, because we must always be DOING. Knowing the question is coming, I’ve been thinking I should prepare a list.
1. Go to a zoo. There are a couple in nearby towns. Zoos are fun.
2. Go see a movie. I swan, we could single-handedly keep Hollywood in business. We love movies, and it satisfies the DO SOMETHING FUN demon. Huh. I just checked the listings. We’ve seen everything we’ve wanted to see. THANKS FOR NOTHING, HOLLYWOOD! What am I supposed to do now?
3. Find a Red Lobster. I’ve been tortured for the past couple of weeks with Lobsterfest commercials. Okay! I give! Why isn’t there a Red Lobster in MY town? Fortunately, I know how the use The Google.
4. Go haunt the paint department at Home Depot, gathering chips for possible colors to paint our house. That would be fun. If you like listening to “Are we done yet?” or “How many choices do you need?” or “Is it lunchtime yet?” Better go do this by myself. We could also go look at outdoor furniture. I’d like to have a couple Adirondack chairs for my front porch, after it’s painted and we’ve taken the old couch out there to the dump, and cleaned up the rest of the mess out there…
5. Go for a drive. We like to explore. We could pick a destination and hit the road. Nothing screams fun like 5 people trapped in a car together with no escape. I’ve done the week-long drive with these men of mine. Better plan on doing this on a nice day, so we can have the windows down.
6. Go visit the families on the other side of the mountain. The grandparents love seeing the boys, even though the boys aren’t nearly as cute as they used to be when they were little.
7. Sleep in. Yeah. Right. That’ll happen. Strike that. NEXT!
8. Have a yard clean-up day. Everybody outside, clearing tree debris and other eyesores. Just because we live in the country doesn’t mean we need to look like an overgrown mess. I’ll supervise from inside and be the Water Girl. *Nodding.* I can also go fetch lunch.
9. There’s a ceramics store down the hill from us. We could go pick mugs to decorate, or something else to decorate, and it would be sooooo much fun, and we could bond, and laugh, and do crafts together…Oh. Wait. I have boys. At least one will bitch about it, 2 would possibly enjoy it, and the husband would probably sit there looking bored and sighing while he pointedly looks at his wrist, at the watch he doesn’t have. Like the paint chip thing, I should go do this by myself. I’ll have more fun that way.
10. Family pictures. We’re due for another family photograph. Maybe we could find ourselves an old-timey town to roadtrip to, then find one of those places that does the old-fashioned photos, and do that. We did it when the boys were little. Would be fun now that they are big. Okay, prolly not fun, as they will all moan, groan, and pitch a fit about it. Sigh.
In conclusion, I’m clearly the wrong person in the family to ask what we’re going to do this weekend, since my idea of fun often diverges from their idea of fun. The thing is, we should enjoy the time together, as the rotten children are getting older and my empty nest is closer than I’d like it to be. Our time as this family we are today is ticking away faster than it should. New adventures loom ahead for us, true, but now is now and won’t be now forever.
How about some weekend reading? Need something light, somewhat campy, and inspired by SyFy’s Sharknado movies? No, no sharks, but watching both Sharknado movies spurred the Muse into bestowing this bit of silly fun on me – and I know better than to tell the Muse ‘No.’ When Angie Went to Hale is, according to reviewer Kathi Harris, “Funny. This is the disaster movie story for everyone. The sex is PG and brief, the laughs keep coming as do the aliens who are leveling all of the major cities around the world. it will be a new world when they are done with it and our plucky characters have the grit and humor to save themselves, sort out who is a fake human, and make their way to the doorway to the future.
Novella length makes this a fast read, Hamby’s sense of the ridiculous makes it worthwhile.”
It’s your typical mid-week day here on Planet Earth when the aliens arrive. There’s nothing remarkable, nothing out of the ordinary, that would presage the arrival of the alien UFOs that park over all the big cities of the world, including, of course, New York City. Everyone knows that when the aliens arrive, they’ll head to Manhattan. It’s probably a law. And predictably, the aliens turn out to be evil invaders, intent on the Earth’s destruction. Because, are there any other kind of aliens?
Meet Angie Gibson, our plucky heroine who harbors a guilty a love for alien invasion and/or disaster movies. The sillier the movie, the better. She conveniently finds her best friend, Lacey Bevins, as they flee the Manhattan office building where they work, and together, they join forces with Hale and Nelson when Angie inconveniently breaks her ankle during the stampeding exodus from Lower Manhattan. Together the foursome, against all logic, flee Lower Manhattan for Upper Manhattan, hiding in odd places, rescue some abandoned children, and race towards their salvation, the George Washington Bridge. Oh. And they fight some aliens. Oh, oh! And have desperate sex, because who wouldn’t when the world is being destroyed by evil, invading aliens and you don’t know if you’ll live to see tomorrow?
Join Angie, Hale, Lacey and Nelson for a silly adventure that couldn’t possibly happen in real life.
I mean, this really couldn’t happen in real life.